LOVING TO GET HIGH SYNDROME

It’s time I give my son some praise.

Christmas Eve is always a big deal at our house. A lot of food, music, family, friends, gifts and games. This year was no exception. We had a Christmas Carole Sing Along with my mother on piano and a friend Rebecca, on Fiddle. Wonderful. The food was spectacular. Our youngest daughter is a Pastry Chef and our youngest son a Food Chef. Their creations were the best they have ever been.

My son, who gave me the inspiration to this web-site, “Wowed” me with his cooking. Short-Ribs and Brussel Spouts, the best I’ve ever had.  He has developed into a talented and successful Chef. His contribution to our family is significant.

Maybe the key to this success is similar to the key to his loving to get high, PASSION. He is passionate about cooking, food preparation, food presentation, his job, his co-workers and his customers. This passion is being directed into something that he is proud of and wants to show-off. For that I am very grateful.

Son, you are doing great, I’m proud of you.

P.S. I’ve discovered that if you want to comment on my blog you need to first click on the “Title of the Post”, which will take you to a page where you can leave a comment. Your comments are greatly appreciated.

No matter who we are, we all have the same Values.

How could this be true? It is not the presence or absence of values, we all work off of the same list, it is how important  they are to us. How we prioritize them? How we honor them?

If your number one value is concern for others and your son/daughters number one value is friendship, you may assume that there would be no conflict. At first glance they seem completely compatible, but when you look more closely, you can see that values can give us something to fight about.

Hidden in your message of “concern for others” may be the opinion, “You are not concerned about me”. His/her value of friendship may communicate the message, “Quit bugging me about my friends!”

List of values.

(Circle your top 5 values and ask your son or daughter to do the same.)

Accomplishment,    Concern for others,    Creativity,    Pleasure,   Spirituality,    Accountability,    Power,    Reliability,    Discovery,   Freedom,   Honesty,   Openness,   Respect,   Friendship,    Independence,   Privacy,   Trust.

Discuss the results. What does it say about your relationship? Do these values reflect behaviors? Resentments? Opinions?

Loving to get high is an intense commitment to values.

Independence, freedom, friendship, creativity, pleasure, spontaneity are easily honored values in the life of a young person who loves to get high.

As a parent let’s not assume that “I have good values and you don’t”. It’s not true. What we need to look at is what we’ve attached these values to.

As a parent you need to ask, “Have I attached accountability, honesty and trust to trying to control my kid”?  Has your teen attached independence, privacy and freedom to getting high?

We all have the same list of values, let’s start talking about what they mean to us. Let the learning begin.