LOVING TO GET HIGH SYNDROME

The University of Minnesota has done a longitudinal study of more that 20,000 teenagers, with a surprising conclusion. Teens don’t participate in risky behavior because they think that they are invincible, it’s because they feel very vulnerable, and they think that they are likely to die at a young age.

 Loving to get high is fuel for this fire, “if I’m going to die young, I may as well party to the max, for tomorrow I might be dead.”

 Please read this article, it will give you a lot to talk about with your son or daughter.

Parents, I want you to hear this message now.

 The loving to get high syndrome needs our attention. There is something going on in the lives of our kids that we need to look at. If we ignore the signs and symptoms, it will morph into something more difficult to deal with, chemical dependency.

 The hear and now that I’m using is actually a play on the words for here and now, which is a popular way to talk about where and how we should live our lives. The benefit of living in the here and now is that we are not going to be gripped by our past or overwhelmed with the future.

 When our kids are bummed about life it is usually because of stress about the past and fears and worries about their future. With the use of a MAC (Mood Altering Chemical) a young person can experience a swing from bummed to bliss. This is a way for them to return to the benefits of the here and now.

Because of this, here and now becomes a significant part of the loving to get high syndrome.

 As parents, we are probably very accustomed to accepting a life filled with worry and regret. This is just a part of our job description. But because our kid’s job is to have fun and not settle into this kind of rut, they are usually a little more creative in how they deal with this stress and worry.

 They find that they can get back to here and now by getting high. Under the influence of a MAC all of the stress of the past and the worry about the future disappears. This feeling of relief is powerful. It’s the feeling of being alive without a care in the world.

 Having consequences from getting high is also a part of the here and now. But for our kids it is a very unpleasant something that they want to avoid. It is an instant reminder that getting high is not all fun and games. This is, however, one of the most important life lessons a young person can learn (if we let them).

 All too often we swing in and fix the situation or rescue them from the pain. We take away the lesson that they would gain from this particular consequence. The more these lessons disappear, the more they will conclude that getting high is just plain fun without any real down side.  As you can see, this will perpetuate the loving to get high syndrome.

 Parents, this can actually be your message to your son or daughter, “Hear this message now!  There are consequences to getting high.”

I ran into a friend today who asked me how the “inbetweeners” are doing? I said, “what are you talking about?” She said, “you know, the kids who love to get high but are not yet chemically dependent.”

Inbetweeners! What a great visual.

My Random House Dictionary calls between “an intervening space and time.” This space and time can be between the ages of 10 and 20, or between the end of elementary school and college. But more importantly it is the space and time between getting high for the first time and the discovery of loving to get high. Inbetweeners fall some place between experimentation and dependency.

As parents we need to ask ourselves, “What direction is my kid’s life going in?” For the Inbetweeners they are unfortunately, heading in the direction of Chemical Dependency.

I can’t imagine a more comprehensive reason for why kids get high or end up addicted. They love the way it makes them feel. It affects their brain, emotions, social life, ability to cope, school, relationship with their parents, everything!

Loving to get high has nothing to do with their moral character or how well you parented them. It is simply a discovery of monumental proportions. It changes their life. It gives them something to believe in, live for, excel at, enjoy, and call their own.

As a parent, this whole scenario poses a huge problem. Your kids are going to lie. They love the way getting high makes them feel and they don’t want you to find out, so they are going to lie, big time!

My wife and I know about this first hand. One of our sons kept his getting high a secret from us for three years. That either makes us really dumb or him really invested in protecting his “love of getting high”. Maybe it’s a combination of both.

Needless to say, as parents, we are totally unprepared to deal with something if we are not aware of it. It is my hope that by identifying loving to get high as a syndrome, we will start to recognize it and start to see the subtle signs and symptoms, even when it is covered up and lied about.

Loving to get high syndrome is very common amongst our teens; we’re just not aware of it and our kids are probably not the ones who are going to tell us all about it. I guess that’s my job.