LOVING TO GET HIGH SYNDROME

Jeff Bridges plays a down and out alcoholic country singer in the movie “Crazy Heart”. It is absolutely an award winning performance.

Alcoholism looks different for an adult than the “loving to get high syndrome” does for an adolescent. The role of Bad Blake gives us a glimpse of what  loving to get high turns into if not dealt with.

On the soundtrack you get a musical sense of the power of alcoholism. The song Fallin’ & Flyin’, written by Stephen Bruton and Gary Nicholson does a great job of showing the heaven and hell aspect to drinking.

Fallin’ & Flyin’ by Stephen Bruton and Gary Nicholson

“I’m going where I shouldn’t go,

seeing who I shouldn’t see,

doing what I shouldn’t do,

being who I shouldn’t be.

A little voice tells me it’s all wrong,

another voice it’s alright.

Used to think that I was strong,

but lately I just lost the fight.

Funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’, for a little while.”

Funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’, is what’s behind loving to get high. Without the sense of flying no one would ever fall in love with getting high.

Thank you Hollywood for understanding alcoholism and addiction,  now you need to figure out where it starts, with Loving to Get High.

Being bummed by life; stressed, unhappy, miserable, desperate, is all too common for young people. What do our kids do with this stress? How do they deal with this emotional ups and downs? Do they talk to you about any of this? Who do they talk to? Who’s giving them advise on how to cope? Is it possible that they have actually taken steps to deal with stress on their own, with the advice of their friends?

One very common way to deal with this is to experiment with a M.A.C. (Mood Altering Chemical) Some kids try it and find out that they don’t like it or they can take it or leave it.

Some will however discover the complete opposite. For them it can be a discovery of a life time, Bliss. They love the way it makes them feel. When I speak to groups of students about shifting from being Bummed to experiencing Bliss, they know what I’m talking about, they get it. They will even site specific times when they experienced this shift.

This swing from Bummed to Bliss is the Critical Point of the Loving to Get High Syndrome. It’s as if the Heavens opened up and they discovered a whole new way of living. What used to be a problem has now disappeared. What caused stress no longer exists, (at least now, at this very moment). This is not figured out on an academic level, they actually  experience the emotional relief  from getting high.

As a parent we can’t compete with this powerful dynamic of swinging from bummed to bliss, if we try we will lose. It is also ineffective to try to talk them out of it. Their mind is set. They love the way this makes them feel.

I’m not saying that it is hopeless. The swing from Bummed to Bliss, comes with natural consequences. It’s our job to let this happen, allow them to feel the pain, to experience the consequences. More than that it’s our job to open our eyes and see what’s really going on. We are not helping anyone by staying in denial, by pretending that our son/daughter is not getting high and loving it.

The path out of this mess takes courage, understanding and tough love. (and of course, attending a support group like Alanon.) Kids deserve a normal life, not the roller-coaster ride that getting high provides, even if the bliss is worth the price of admission.

Joseph A. Califano, Jr. Founder and Chair of The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University is on a book tour promoting his new book for parents, How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid, The Straight Dope For Parents. I heard him speak last evening in Edina Minnesota, his book is a great resource for parents raising kids who love to get high. Here’s the link to his website. http://www.straightdopeforparents.org/

The Partnership For a Drug Free Americacontinues to post great resources for parents, check out Dr. Drew Pinsky speaking about “When Addiction Runs in the Family”.

One of my part time jobs is driving Limousine. This is my 10^th Prom season, which I thoroughly enjoy. It is fun to see all of the young people decked out in full regalia.

My last prom was two weeks ago, with eight kids from the suburbs. I gave them the usual no smoking and no drinking lecture. They were fine with that. They had no intention of smoking or drinking. At least they didn’t plan on drinking alcohol. An hour later when I dropped them off for dinner, I found 22 empty bottles of “5 Hour Energy, extra strength”. That’s a lot of Caffeine. They were flying high. And it was all legal; they didn’t break any rules, mine or those of their High School.

I really don’t know much about these kids other than they were pleasant, polite, personable, and popped-up on caffeine. I don’t even know if any of them love getting high; all I know is that their first hour of the prom was a blast, loud music and a lot of energy. They opted for an experience that took them out of the ordinary and into the extraordinary.