LOVING TO GET HIGH SYNDROME

Jeff Bridges plays a down and out alcoholic country singer in the movie “Crazy Heart”. It is absolutely an award winning performance.

Alcoholism looks different for an adult than the “loving to get high syndrome” does for an adolescent. The role of Bad Blake gives us a glimpse of what  loving to get high turns into if not dealt with.

On the soundtrack you get a musical sense of the power of alcoholism. The song Fallin’ & Flyin’, written by Stephen Bruton and Gary Nicholson does a great job of showing the heaven and hell aspect to drinking.

Fallin’ & Flyin’ by Stephen Bruton and Gary Nicholson

“I’m going where I shouldn’t go,

seeing who I shouldn’t see,

doing what I shouldn’t do,

being who I shouldn’t be.

A little voice tells me it’s all wrong,

another voice it’s alright.

Used to think that I was strong,

but lately I just lost the fight.

Funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’, for a little while.”

Funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’, is what’s behind loving to get high. Without the sense of flying no one would ever fall in love with getting high.

Thank you Hollywood for understanding alcoholism and addiction,  now you need to figure out where it starts, with Loving to Get High.

It’s time I give my son some praise.

Christmas Eve is always a big deal at our house. A lot of food, music, family, friends, gifts and games. This year was no exception. We had a Christmas Carole Sing Along with my mother on piano and a friend Rebecca, on Fiddle. Wonderful. The food was spectacular. Our youngest daughter is a Pastry Chef and our youngest son a Food Chef. Their creations were the best they have ever been.

My son, who gave me the inspiration to this web-site, “Wowed” me with his cooking. Short-Ribs and Brussel Spouts, the best I’ve ever had.  He has developed into a talented and successful Chef. His contribution to our family is significant.

Maybe the key to this success is similar to the key to his loving to get high, PASSION. He is passionate about cooking, food preparation, food presentation, his job, his co-workers and his customers. This passion is being directed into something that he is proud of and wants to show-off. For that I am very grateful.

Son, you are doing great, I’m proud of you.

P.S. I’ve discovered that if you want to comment on my blog you need to first click on the “Title of the Post”, which will take you to a page where you can leave a comment. Your comments are greatly appreciated.

The Addiction Project is produced by HBO in partnership with the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA).

The human brain is an extraordinarily complex and fine-tuned communications network containing billions of specialized cells (neurons) that give origin to our thoughts, emotions, perceptions and drives. Often, a drug is taken the first time by choice to feel pleasure or to relieve depression or stress. But this notion of choice is short-lived. Why? Because repeated drug use disrupts well-balanced systems in the human brain in ways that persist, eventually replacing a person’s normal needs and desires with a one-track mission to seek and use drugs. At this point, normal desires and motives will have a hard time competing with the desire to take a drug.

http://www.hbo.com/addiction

Being bummed by life; stressed, unhappy, miserable, desperate, is all too common for young people. What do our kids do with this stress? How do they deal with this emotional ups and downs? Do they talk to you about any of this? Who do they talk to? Who’s giving them advise on how to cope? Is it possible that they have actually taken steps to deal with stress on their own, with the advice of their friends?

One very common way to deal with this is to experiment with a M.A.C. (Mood Altering Chemical) Some kids try it and find out that they don’t like it or they can take it or leave it.

Some will however discover the complete opposite. For them it can be a discovery of a life time, Bliss. They love the way it makes them feel. When I speak to groups of students about shifting from being Bummed to experiencing Bliss, they know what I’m talking about, they get it. They will even site specific times when they experienced this shift.

This swing from Bummed to Bliss is the Critical Point of the Loving to Get High Syndrome. It’s as if the Heavens opened up and they discovered a whole new way of living. What used to be a problem has now disappeared. What caused stress no longer exists, (at least now, at this very moment). This is not figured out on an academic level, they actually  experience the emotional relief  from getting high.

As a parent we can’t compete with this powerful dynamic of swinging from bummed to bliss, if we try we will lose. It is also ineffective to try to talk them out of it. Their mind is set. They love the way this makes them feel.

I’m not saying that it is hopeless. The swing from Bummed to Bliss, comes with natural consequences. It’s our job to let this happen, allow them to feel the pain, to experience the consequences. More than that it’s our job to open our eyes and see what’s really going on. We are not helping anyone by staying in denial, by pretending that our son/daughter is not getting high and loving it.

The path out of this mess takes courage, understanding and tough love. (and of course, attending a support group like Alanon.) Kids deserve a normal life, not the roller-coaster ride that getting high provides, even if the bliss is worth the price of admission.

This is a powerfully, edgy blog post by a rock musician. I don’t know anything about who he is, what kind of music he makes, or where he lives. All I know is that he “Loves to Get High” and he articulates it in a very powerful way.

People think my addiction is a weakness. They say it is “humiliating” or “degrading” to watch me chase drugs or get high. But I say humiliation is a relative term. It’s only humiliating if I’m humiliated, and it’s only a lonely lifestyle if I feel lonely. Sure, the first time I tried drugs; it might have been motivated by weakness, by loneliness, but not anymore. I mean, consider all the acts committed out of loneliness or weakness that turned into great meaningful pursuits.

And now I’m completely in motion, I can’t even stop if I wanted to and I love every minute of it (not every minute, but that’s true of any great work). “Yes, but what are you producing? What are you creating?” That’s what most people claim is the difference between what I’m doing and what I’m drawing parallels with.

But I say that I’m creating my own perceptions, I’m creating sensual symphonies and emotional masterpieces. When my world falls and crumbles to pieces, in a matter of hours I can whip up the wind of my personal life into a froth of manipulation and borrowed money and bummed rides and pawned accessories and with my face down in the f–king dirt, surrounded by the foulest scum of the earth, I can feel as high as the damn clouds. I feel like, with my mouth open against the gravel or the pavement, that I could swallow the whole world. I can shape my mind into a mountain, and stretch my body over it like a rubber band, and snap, snap, snap, against the bottom just for fun. I have access to another plane of existence; it’s like a magic power that takes certain expensive keys and all of my energy to perform. I merely dabble in the world you call “The World” and my place is not here, it’s a step above. Sometimes I sink back down here, but it’s not long before I’m back up where I belong.

Parents, it’s important to realize this is a personal testimony by a Rock Star that your kids look up to. The scary thing is that your son or daughter may agree with him 100%. It’s time to wake up to this possibility.

Posted by Bent Ruth a member of a Canadian rock band http://www.gramophone.com

Joseph A. Califano, Jr. Founder and Chair of The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University is on a book tour promoting his new book for parents, How to Raise a Drug-Free Kid, The Straight Dope For Parents. I heard him speak last evening in Edina Minnesota, his book is a great resource for parents raising kids who love to get high. Here’s the link to his website. http://www.straightdopeforparents.org/